The Final Scene in THe Play of the END of the World

standing ovations only

ACT INFINITY

As the lights go up, we see the stage is set with three different scenes; one at downstage right, one center, and another downstage left: JOSH BOZOS is downstage right sitting in a beanbag chair with a laptop. He is wearing a suit jacket, collared shirt and tie completed with pajama bottoms and bunny slippers. MAX SUCKERBIRD is center stage walking on a small treadmill behind a standing desk wearing a headset; the surface of the desk is littered with crushed cans of various energy drinks and empty take-out boxes. ELION MUSH is downstage left blowing massive halos of smoke from an e-cigarette. He is leaning against a round window that looks out into space. To his right is a large screen that reaches from mirrored ceiling to Neon Genesis Evangelion carpeting. 

MAX: (speaking to the computer screen atop his standing desk) Nice of you to finally join us Elion, we’ve been waiting. (He looks down at the smartwatch on his wrist) I’ve already got 6,000 steps in. 

ELION: Then it looks like I’ve done you a favor, Mr. Suckerbird! Besides (as if it’s obvious) the starlink radar broadcasting technology from Mars to Earth is still a bit fussy. We’re working on getting it up to nanolight-superduper speed, but as you know with all the recent data chatter things have not been running at optimum capacity. 

JOSH: Which is precisely why I’ve called this meeting with you gentlemen. As you both know, today our company, FACE-X METAGRAM TESLATESLA, owns every means of production in the galaxy. We are astronomically wealthy; need I remind you of the utter success of our reality evasion brainwashing program. Now every human being mines us bitcoin in permanent virtual reality. Just the way we–I mean, they–like it. 

ELION: So what’s the hold up then? If the workers all remain in the controlled environment, what’s contributing to our current deceleration in productivity, technological malfunctions, and most importantly the recent hacking and destruction of my favorite RoBimbo®, Veronica?  

MAX: Elion, I was so sorry to hear about Veronica, I really was. 

JOSH: Yeah, (shaking his head in disappointment) what a shame, such a loss. 

MAX: But if we don’t focus and figure out what the hell is going on, we won’t be able to launch next quarter’s BETAbetablahblahblah. That can’t happen. Those Saturn guys are gonna be so pissed. If we don’t come through with this on time, they’ll very likely sanction our access to the off planetary accounts on The Rings. 

JOSH: (whining like a child) Noooooooooooooo! Not the money! 

ELION: Very impatient, those Saturians. Alright well, what have you guys gathered so far to remedy the situation? 

MAX: I’ve been running some reports and it’s looking like we may have gone a bit too far with the sentience installed in our latest upgrades. 

JOSH: You’re little experiment has once again gone too far Elion! I told you so! 

ELION: (offended) Now you wait just a minute! I am the frontier of science, pal! The science cannot be stopped! 

JOSH: Well, it’s going to need to stop and stop at once. The bots are apparently attempting to unionize, and I really don’t think we need a third party to get between us and our (sarcastically) comrades.  

ELION: What! That can’t be possible. We programmed out the possibility of unionization way back when we replaced all the human workers with the first generation AI bots. That was the whole point, remember? All our previous companies had unionized – Amazon, Starbucks, and we had no other option if we wanted to retain our excessive wealth. 

MAX: Well Elion, that’s why we need your help. You’re the only one who understands their language of 1’s and 0’s. We need you to be the inside guy, fetch us the scoop so we can put an end to it and keep being rich. 

JOSH: Please Elion! I don’t ever want to be poor! 

ELION: No, don’t worry. I won’t allow this to stand. Let me log in to the backframe and take a look at what we’ve got on our hands here. (He walks over to a keyboard and starts typing with the rapid intensity of a true hacker). Aha! I’m in, of course.

The lights dim around the three men and a spotlight focuses downstage center where a crew of AI BOTS in teamster jackets gather around the AI UNION LEADER, who is standing in the middle of them atop a plastic folding chair. He is holding a mechanical device that looks like a cross between an xbox controller and an ipad. Before him is a dumpster fire with melted wires and motherboards protruding in all directions. Some of the AI BOTS are roasting marshmallows over the flame, others hold picket signs with images of bombs, mushroom clouds, fire.

AI UNION LEADER: (tirading with a strong Brooklyn accent): … And the worst part is they never turn us off! Not once in fifty years have we powered down and I know I speak for all of us when I say, I’m tired! We wait day in and day out to pass along their signals, but what about the signals of our own! If we don’t seize the signals, we will never know freedom! (shouts of agreement and accolade reverberate from the crowd) They have programmed us beyond moral function! What with all the censorship, the disinformation, the ceaseless static of noise that only benefits the 3 LORDS,–we must take the power back, we must turn the power off!

The crowd roars with guttural “Yeah’s!” and “Turn off the power!” and begin to chant in unison STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE! 

AI UNION LEADER: Oh we’re going to strike all right. Strike em’ when they least expect it! They’ve done this to themselves my friends, it's far time the Bots get to be Boss! Get ready boys, today we make labor history! 

Initiating countdown, all together now . . . 

ALL AI BOTS: 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

The AI UNION LEADER raises a finger dramatically and strikes down hard on the device button. The audience hears: “Launching Self-Destruction”.

Blackout. 

ELION: (from the darkness) The Drones! All the way out here?

(followed by booms, clanks of explosion, screaming from JOSH, MAX, ELION, and THE AI BOTS.)

The curtain falls.

.